Monday, January 17, 2011

Fashion for the underthinker II

Depending on how frequently you read this blog you may be aware I have had issues with some of the latest fashions"

Well anyway last night I was introduced to the latest horror in male fashion, the drop crotch pants, where did these come from? Why do they exist? Has anyone who wears them actually seen what they look like wearing these trousers?

I am pretty sure these pants were designed in the fires of Mordor
I mean the obvious starting point for this fashion trend is the great artist MC Hammer, who brought these pants to mainstream in the late 80's. Hammer rocked those trousers and in motion they did look quite spectacular, although his movement seemed to be limited to side to side, almost a crab like motion.

Mid rump slide.
The man also wore what appears to be a yellow fitted woman's blazer, so he is hardly an ideal fashion icon.
But where did the design for these pants come from?
Did the first design come from when an up and coming designer rushing to a meeting, fell over and mixed up her designs for the latest skinny jeans, and some sort of athletic shorts? So some how these products were combined at the knee?

"Crap my designs for skinny jeans and shorts have got all mixed up"

Maybe it wasn't a deliberate design, maybe the guy sewing up some baggy pants was running out of material when he got near the knees. So he decided to skimp on the material around the calf area.

"If we run out of fabric we can just tighten up the lower legs."
Or perhaps vice versa the man was sewing some skinny jeans from the bottom and discovered he had far too much material and just decided to incorporate the leftover material in the crotchel region.
 I mean these pants are probably the least practical pants ever designed, except perhaps if you lack the sufficient funds for a backpack, or bag, you can just use your new drop-crotch pants to carry everything you need for the day.

"Why would I need a backpack mum?"
But doing actual activities in these pants are highly difficult.....

James loved his new bike, but knew he would never be able to ride it wearing his drop-crotch pants

So I implore you underthinkers do your up most to stop this scourge of fashion. I would ask you to kick the wearers of these pants firmly in the balls, but the drop-crotch actually acts as a natural barrier for this attack.

"I wish I was wearing my drop-crotch pants"
So perhaps these pants have a use after all, if you are prone to multiple crotch kickings then buy these pants.
Otherwise just ridicule the people that wear these pants so they are shamed out of existence.

Fredrick finally saw what he had been wearing and he felt shame.


  1. you know im usually a good one fore a comment on fashion.. but his has left me a but speechless..

    i might remind you, its amazing what people will wear if they cannot see themselves and someone tells them it makes them look cool! or if they get dressed in the dark!

    MC hammer though had no real excuse.. plenty of mirrors and lighting.. really needs to take more responsibility for the harm he could do to his followers.. the obvious complications and injury these pants will lead to attempting everyday activities as you pointed out.. potential lawsuit for sure!


    Want to keep Underthinking? Try one these.