Bears guarding pot.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/4040527/Docile-bears-guard-marijuana-plot

So in this story, police in British Colombia found a marijuana plot that was being guarded by well-fed docile bears.
My first thought was these bears aren't guarding the plot rather they had stumbled upon it and were getting stoned.

Woah man, my hands are massive

Lets face it  bears are classic drug-users, always eating and sleeping.
I mean just look at one of the more famous bears, Yogi bear always had the munchies and was totally anti-authority, always getting into fights with the ranger, and always napping. Classic stoner behaviour.

Just look at their pupils.....

I mean who is going to hire bears as guards? Well actually that does sound like the actions of a stoned man/men.

Stoner1 : Hey, how are we going to guard our plot?
Stoner2: I don't know some sort of booby trap
Stoner1: Haha booby sounds like booboo, like Yogi b...
Stoner2: BEARS! we should definitely get bears to guard our plot
Stoner1: Yeah I don't see any problems associated with that.

For frick sake Brian it's me, Fred, your boss.

Except perhaps that to a bear, all people are treated as equal, they all taste good.

Martin stole his speech from his college-roommate, who happened to be a Bear.

This is the major flaw in all plans associated with using animals to do jobs, they aren't doing the job for personal satisfaction or something for their c.v. They do it because someone feeds them, they aren't particularly fussed who feeds them, making headhunting in the animal employment not a particularly difficult job.

I would like to talk to you all, about the benefits of becoming part of the LutherCorp Family

This is more than likely the reason you fail to see many animals at the top of the corporate world.