Underthinking Drug Trafficking

 So here's an interesting story. Apparently Mexican drug dealers have decided that to get there drugs across the border they will use a catapult. And I don't mean they produce a catapult made out of drugs and then bring it across the border ala Cheech and Chong: Up in smoke.

Entirely made of Marajuana

No these enterprising young men have decided that they will literally catapult the drugs across the border. This seems like a rather archaic way of doing things, surely a cannon, or even a trebuchet would be a more modern way of transporting the drugs? Although I read somewhere that drug dealers used "Drug Mules" to get their drugs across borders ,so they are not exactly up with modern technology.

Pictured: A drug Mule.

Apparently a lot of these mules are caught in airports. Obviously, a mule in an airport is going to be freaking conspicuous

I am pretty sure I could spot a mule here.

But back to the original story so these drug dealers are presumably launching their drugs across the border using a giant catapult. Okay first of all what is the range of a catapult? Surely the distances you could use would be so small the guards on the border are going to notice flying drug packages?

"What the hell are they loading into that catapult?"

Secondly, a drug deal is a transaction, that requires someone with drugs and someone with cash to purchase the drugs. If you are firing the drugs across the border how do you get paid?

"But man, if we throw the drugs across, how do we get the money man?"

You are thinking well that's easy, they just get paid on the internet first, and then fire the drugs across? I don't know about you but drug dealers aren't exactly high up on my people to trust list. Okay then you buy the drugs and they are delivered, once you have received them then you pay. Right? People purchasing drugs are just above drug dealers on my people to trust list.

"We aren't really going to pay for these are we?"
"Nope"

I do like the idea though that America would need a new weapon in their drug enforcement branch to combat these catapulted drugs.

American Anti-Drug Enforcement Team.

If you read the story though, you will notice though they didn't actually find drugs, they just saw some Mexicans with a catapult, maybe they were doing something else?

Pedro couldn't understand why every time his Medieval re-enactment group set up near the American border they got arrested.

Bears guarding pot.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/4040527/Docile-bears-guard-marijuana-plot

So in this story, police in British Colombia found a marijuana plot that was being guarded by well-fed docile bears.
My first thought was these bears aren't guarding the plot rather they had stumbled upon it and were getting stoned.

Woah man, my hands are massive

Lets face it  bears are classic drug-users, always eating and sleeping.
I mean just look at one of the more famous bears, Yogi bear always had the munchies and was totally anti-authority, always getting into fights with the ranger, and always napping. Classic stoner behaviour.

Just look at their pupils.....

I mean who is going to hire bears as guards? Well actually that does sound like the actions of a stoned man/men.

Stoner1 : Hey, how are we going to guard our plot?
Stoner2: I don't know some sort of booby trap
Stoner1: Haha booby sounds like booboo, like Yogi b...
Stoner2: BEARS! we should definitely get bears to guard our plot
Stoner1: Yeah I don't see any problems associated with that.

For frick sake Brian it's me, Fred, your boss.

Except perhaps that to a bear, all people are treated as equal, they all taste good.

Martin stole his speech from his college-roommate, who happened to be a Bear.

This is the major flaw in all plans associated with using animals to do jobs, they aren't doing the job for personal satisfaction or something for their c.v. They do it because someone feeds them, they aren't particularly fussed who feeds them, making headhunting in the animal employment not a particularly difficult job.

I would like to talk to you all, about the benefits of becoming part of the LutherCorp Family

This is more than likely the reason you fail to see many animals at the top of the corporate world.