Friday, May 27, 2011

Underthinking Planking

So its the craze of every bodies mind at the moment. Planking, seems harmless enough, you just lie down  on stomach, with your arms at your side at have a blank expression on your side. I don't really get it, I mean I am pretty sure I have been planking for years. Since I don't have a picture of myself sleeping, presumably because I have never dated Steve Tyler, who doesn't want to miss a thing.
Look given bad lighting, and a lot of alcohol, it could happen....

 I had to resort to using someone else sleeping on their stomach.

On Stomach: Check, Expressionless: Check, Arm position: Fail
 So it turns out sleeping on your stomach, doesn't qualify for planking status as your arms are cocked, and up by your head. (I assume that this ladies style of sleeping represents everyone who has ever slept on their stomach)
But wait that is traditional sleeping what about people who have come home from a rather large night on the town and just collapsed into bed.

On Stomach: Check, Expressionless: Check, Arm Position: Better
It's still not really planking is it, and the legs splayed apart doesn't really look elegant. Also it would appear that planking is more than just the body position it is doing it in a location that is not a bed, and also the more death defying it is the better.

Also Bizarre helps get your plank up into the realms of great planking
Now there has already been one plank related death, this year, and since I only heard about planking two weeks ago, I assume that's when it started, that makes planking as an dangerous activity (i refuse to call it a sport) as mountain climbing or bear fighting.
A good way to pass your weekends.
Now I am not sure about you, but if I died during an activity I would rather it be, for me wrestling some dangerous animal, than lying down. I mean both are stupid pointless activity, but at least with bear wrestling people would be impressed.
"He was wrestling a bear?! Cool"
"I am sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but he was lying down? Really?"
There are definite risks involved in planking, make sure you are prepared, and plank responsibly. It is very important that you have a strong core, there is nothing worse than a limp plank.
This guy better get an Ab Circle Pro, before he attempts to plank again.
Luckily for the guy in the photo above, his plank was close to the ground, but if he was attempting a more extreme plank, it could have been the second planking related death.

This plank was made possible, through the Ab roller
The other thing that concerns me about planking is how many people will die now, because people have passed out, and swallow their tongues, and no one came to their aid because they just assumed they were planking?

"Dave, this is no time to be planking.....Dave...Dave...oh god he isn't planking."


12 comments:

  1. I would like to see a matador planking on a bull during a bullfight. Now that would legitimize planking and perhaps open doors to it being included in the Olympics. I mean, is it really that different from synchronized swimming?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well except synchronized swimming requires a fair bit of effort to stay on top of the water, and move in time to your team mates.

    Planking requires you to be able to lie down, Put it this way Stephen Hawking could plank, he couldn't synchro.

    The Matador would have to be fighting the world's most placid bull to acheive plank for any longer than 1 second...

    ReplyDelete
  3. The matador and planking---it's not the quantity involved in the planking, it's the quality.

    ReplyDelete

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