Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Underthinking Volcanic Air travel

Air traffic around the world is once again being disrupted from another volcano. First there was that one from Iceland, that no non-icelandic speaker could say.

Icelandic people have greater tongue dexterity to allow them to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull
 Now we have this Chilean Volcano, it appears to me since the world seems to be falling to pieces, these volcano's aren't going to stop blowing up.

Timmy tried to stop them, but apparently filling them in with a shovel was not the solution. RIP.
Pretty much when the ash clouds from these volcanoes invade the air space, then all the flights are grounded because the cloud can jam up the engines, causing them to stop, when you are 6-8 miles in the air this is less than ideal. Well almost all flights, apparently Air NZ is tougher than the other airlines.

The  Pilots of Air NZ.
Their motto is "F*** the conditions we are flying"
Although many people myself included are up for adventure, a lot of people are also afraid of the consequences of flying in dangerous conditions.

So it turns out you can't fly in Volcanic Ash.
I think what really needs to be done is to use planes that are unaffected by this ash. Nice one you say Azzy, what are you going to do just invent a new plane?

WHAT IS THIS A PLANE FOR ANTS??!!
No actually I don't mean I will invent a totally new plane, do you know why? Because we already have planes that can fly in Volcanic ash, we just don't use them anymore. Well not much in the Western World any more, the old propeller planes cope with Ash just fine, unlike those crappy jet planes. That's right your Grandpa was right at least once when he told you things were better in his day.

Told you, and don't get me started on how the education system was better in my day.

This was proven in last week when the incumbent Emperor of NZ Richie McCaw commisioned an old DC3 from a local aviation museum to fly from Christchurch to Wellington, a route those fancy Jet Planes couldn't make.

Get those Tourists out of the way. The Emperor wants his plane.

I guess the main reason we abandoned these planes is they are slower and their range is shorter, so this means more stopovers. Its inconvenient, and if there is anything we hate in this day and age its inconvenience. I say calm down people with all your Blackphones and i-berries travel is only required for holidays now anyway, so just relax. In fact there is another type of transportation that is immune to the Earth's flatulence, which I think needs to be re-instated immediately. That's right  DIRIGIBLES!

"A what?"
Sorry I forgot, Barack Obama 44th president of the USA, most people recognise Dirigibles by the most famous brand of them, Zeppelins.

"Oh now I got you, and since I am  more relaxed I have also removed my tie"
I mean what is wrong with an airship, imagine it just floating in the air, slowly making your way to your destination flying at a height that allows you to take in the scenery as you fly over.
Transportation of choice for Indiana Jones whilst escaping Nazi Germany.
Why on Earth did we get rid of this sort of transportation?

Oh right
But really that was one incident, and the only people that died were the ones that jumped out of the Hindenberg as it was going down, everyone who stayed in their seats until it hit the ground survived. Although I got to say its a ballsy move to stay seated as thousands of litres of Hydrogen burns above you.

Stop fidgeting Fritz, the burning ship will hit the ground shortly.
All I know is if we still had airships, you wouldn't be sitting in an airport right now reading this post, because you would be flying in this volcanic ash.

12 comments:

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