Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Underthinking Bank robbery

So today I was reading this brief story about a bank robber in New York. The basic gist is the thief went to the counter and passed the teller a note telling her to put money in the bag. She refused, so the burgler ran away. I am not sure which bank he went to, but most bank tellers I have ever seen are petite middle-aged woman.

"Um no you cannot have the money"
Maybe this man, had a particularly strict mother, and knew better to talk back to this lady. But seriously if someone can be put off robbing a bank with a simple no, you have to question how seriously they actually wanted to rob a bank. Either that or they have started hiring sterner bank tellers.

"NO, you put your F****n money in the bag"
 So this got me thinking how should one rob a bank, and I thought I should share the wisdom I have gained from watching the ultimate guide on Bank Robbery, these tidbits are ordered in terms of usefulness

Bank Robbery 101

1/. Use Masks that have associated nicknames to avoid identification

In Point Break, the robbers, all dress like the ex-Presidents of the USA, which incidentally means they don't have to think of a nickname for their gang since they have a ready made one, which is very catchy.

The ex-Presidents of the USA
Secondly this gives them ready made codenames since they can just refer to each other as the mask they have on, which avoids confusion amongst the gang, but avoids mistakenly revealing identity to the public. Although you may wish to consulting with your fellow gang members to avoid double ups.

The Guy Fawkes gang, kept getting confused who was who.
It would appear to me this is a very good strategy, the normal bank robber puts a stocking on his head which helps eliminate identification but doesn't lend itself to communicating with other members of your gang in code.

Stocking Head #1 is not exactly a descriptive nickname
2/. The illusion of aggression can ironically reduce the chances of it

The main character Bhodi offers many pearls of wisdom throughout the movie, including

"What am I going to do, paddle to New Zealand?"
That has absolutely nothing to do with what I am talking about, but Patrick Swayze said New Zealand, in a movie. Oh my goodness, I bet that made the news when the movie came out.

"Leading tonight's news, Hollywood Hunk mentions NZ in a moving picture"
But I digress, the pearl of Wisdom that Patrick Swayze actually offered, that pertains to bank robbery is:

It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt. - Bhodi
Basically what Bhodi is saying is if you give the impression that you are not willing to back down, and prepared to use any means necessary, then people will submit to your requests.

"Give me the Money, or I am playing the entire Justin Bieber back catalogue"
Whereas if you show any weakness, people will pounce on this and push you around, quite clearly the robber in New York showed quite a lot of weakness, since the teller felt empowered enough to just tell him NO. This is how I imagine him....

"Um, ahhh, Can I have, um....Some money in a bag please? *giggle*"
Incidentally that quote of Bhodi's reminds me is similar to something by mate Trav, likes to say quite often, not really in relation to bank robbing but I guess it fits

"Mate, you either run with the wolves or you piss with the puppies"
3/. Have a common hobby with your fellow robbers

The last lesson Bhodi/Patrick Swayze teaches us, is that if you are going to rob banks in a gang, have a common hobby, that you can all spend the money on.
Since all of the gang were surfers, when they weren't robbing banks, they were out catching some mean waves in exotic locations, like Australia, Mexico, and Indonesia. I guess when you look at it, it makes sense most surfers are bank robbers I mean how else can they afford to sit around on a beach all day?

Definitely a Bank Robber.
A similar thing with Vin Diesel/Toretto in Fast in the furious...

Point Break in Cars
I mean how else can a bunch of people afford such expensive cars? Obviously through bank robbery. But the point I am making is that these gangs were successful since the hobby they were spending the loot on, was something they all had in common, so no one would need more or less money, because they were all spending it on the same thing so there was no infighting.

Doris and Betsy funded there knitting habits by robbing banks...
The only downfall of these gangs is they broke their own rules by letting in an outsider who at first appeared to be interested in their hobby, but was really an undercover police man.

...until they let Mavis, (FBI) join their gang, and then s**t got real.


  1. Robbery is a serious crime that entails a serious punishment. I don't know what's running in the mind of the people who do this kind of act. Robbery is never an answer to any financial problems.

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