Fashion for the Underthinker

Today while wandering the streets of Dunedin, a friend (an Underthinking fan, who incidentally suggested my next article was about boxes on the street) pointed out a girl walking on the other side of the street, who was wearing a skirt so short it is probably being kind to it calling it a skirt.
This item of clothing was also elastic so every 3 steps this girl had to tug it down just to avoid arrest.

A topic the readers of Underthinking it are interesting in apparently

This got me thinking when this girl got dressed this morning, she obviously didn't put a lot of thought into this outfit. She had got as far as this outfit looks good when I stand still, but any movement at all is out of the question. Now this kind of outfit is fine is if your job is being a mannequin, but pretty impractical if you are a human.

I wish I had paid attention at school.

To be fair to this young lady, she is not the only person in the world that I feel has under thought their outfit. And to be fair to young ladies they are not the only gender to under think their outfits. Young men have been doing it for years, with the phenomenon known as "sagging" in the US, or low-riding in the Kiwi vernacular.

In some areas these pants are baggy, in other areas also baggy

When your waistband is now around your knees, your gait cycle has to change dramatically. You now have to walk with you feet about 6 times the width of your shoulders apart so your pants stay up. If someone asks you to run you need to grab the front and back of your pants, taking your hands completely out of use, rendering activities such as paintball, sports, and generally carrying things out of the question.
But you know I can live with this, the pants are loose all over, there is no identity crisis here. I like baggy pants, I will wear baggy pants, and I don't need to carry anything today.

I like tight pants but want people to think I like baggy pants.

This latest craze doesn't make any sense to me. These pants aren't too baggy or too tight, they are both!! These people are crying out for help, they don't know who they are anymore.
"Am I wearing pants that are too big for me, or pants that are too small for me? I am so confused, I have my confused face on."

Well gee, I don't know what to make of those trousers....

Do the stores that these people buy these pants not have mirrors? Have the purchasers of these devil trousers got no feeling in their legs so they can't feel something is wrong?
Maybe the wearers of these pants are proud of their calves, but less so of their butts?
What about the sales assistant, is he just bold-face lying to them? or is there some other reason he can't see what is wrong.

"Those pants look great fellas' they fit perfectly."- Ray #1 Salesman

In researching this article (that's right I research these) I have discovered that the wearers of these pants are aware they are doing it wrong. This has lead to a company coming up with a solution, so that they can feel like they are wearing their trousers correctly, but give the impression to other people that they are unaware of the location of their waist.

Anatomy 101: Locate the waist today's youth

Also why are there suspenders?
All I can say is, if you underthink and dress you are a bloody idiot.